Novel beginnings

Feedback welcome on the novel I am writing, here are the first two chapters…

Chapter One ~ A Fragment


We are standing on our edges.

My edge is always The Bridge over the river, at the mouth of the sea. Arms outstretched, faces to the sky. It may look like we are going to jump. But we’re doing something far more important than jumping. A seagull came up to me once, it hovered directly in front of my face.

I made eye contact with the seagull and for a moment his eyes held the soul of a soldier.

Hey Mr, he seemed to be saying, don’t do it. Don’t jump.

It’s okay, I spoke to him like an old friend. Don’t worry, I’m ok. Everything is ok. Honest. You’ll see. Everything is going to be ok.

I’m a good liar. I even lie to seagulls that aren’t real. The truth is, I know a secret about this world, a secret so unimaginable it would wipe the minds of men and break the hearts of humanity. It’s eating me up inside. I swore I would take it to my grave but then I lost my faith in faith and now I only swear at myself, in the mirror, usually in the evenings.

Yes, it may look like we are going to jump.

As the inevitable becomes imminent, the flow always speeds up. The wind, the water, the world. Everything racing towards you. Your ears hear the music of nature, the song notes of the atoms.

Just before jumping all this rushes up in your face and hits you. It’s a shock they call the Hypo Jerk.

Your feet on the edge, the narrowness of the ledge. You wonder how long you can keep your eyes shut before you tip over. No, the jump had to be done with eyes open. You have to see where you are falling to.

Rule number 102. Keep eyes closed on the outside but open on the inside.

But then inside and outside just become words and I forget what eyes I was even talking about.

At this point, you should jump. Get ready to lose your world. Action points at the ready, we are good to go. Multi-dimensional guerrilla psychonauts at your service. We are travellers, but we don’t do terrestrial. We travel in a place currently unmapped. And the only way to get there is with a jump.

Hyperspace here we come.



Chapter Two ~ Viper Drops Into My Life


I used to move through this world like a discarded cat, one that once knew a snug existence but now wandered alone, taking disappointed steps through the back streets of life. The world looked upon me with scorn. I had told too many people about the dreams you see, and now I was attending ‘Sun Sessions’, state provided therapy meetings. Talking about my deepest darkest emotional states of messiness amongst a group of starey-eyed strangers was not my ideal way to spend a Monday. I only turned up so my doctor would keep writing my script of mood enhancers.

Todays’ session was about Fear. You know, talking about Fear, really getting deep inside our Fear, facing and embracing our Fear then kicking Fear right in the butt! (The therapist was an American and talked with jaws so animated it was like she was chewing extremely gluey gum.) She grated on me, especially the way she referred to herself and the seven sorry individuals sat in our ‘Sun Circle’ as a collective.

‘I really believe we can do this, guys.’ Cue sickening smile. ‘We just need to find that strength in ourselves.’

I decided she had no right to be a part of our collective messed-upness. Lipstick smiles and manicured nails, she didn’t have to drag herself off the dirty edge of depression each morning. Sitting with her crossed legs and pointed shoes like she had permanent toe erection, she didn’t have to look at herself in the mirror each night and swear every swear word ever invented.


To my amusement though, one of the other collectives took an objection to her too. Covered in what looked like serpent tattoos, he contested her theories on Fear. He blasted her with words so sharp I wondered what the hell he was doing here. Surely he was too smart to be a mentalist?

‘Fear is an illusion, created by your mind, your Self. Are you suggesting we kick our Selves in the butt? Because that may be physically impossible. Certainly, philosophically, immoral.’

Lipstick face was speechless. She nodded and mmmmd like she understood what he was talking about then advised us all to have a comfort break. Outside, the Fear guy and I smoked rapidly in the biting chill and he spoke to me in quick bursts. His name was Viper, he said. He was only coming here to fool them, he said. So they wouldn’t take his little brother away from him. He had to pretend to be sane, he winked. They had already taken Sally away from him, and she was his soul mate.

‘They took your girlfriend away?’

‘My soul mate.’ He corrected me into silence. The air hung static between us for a few special moments. Then he burst into tears.

I have never hugged another man before, except my Dad, when Mum passed on. But even then it was more of a him hugging me moment.

Viper and I hugged until his tears were wiped away furiously with one angry fist. ‘I will get her back. Do you know why I know this? Because I have a plan.’

He flicked his cig away, put his hands upon my shoulders and stared at me with hardened blue eyes. They were like two evil marbles scoping me out. ‘What’s your name son?’

‘Uh, Kyle.’

‘Ah, Kyle.’ He grinned, nodding as though he had been waiting to find me. ‘Do you want to help me Kyle?’

I found myself saying the words before my brain-neurons had even processed them. ‘I do.’


Chapter Three coming soon…feedback welcome 🙂

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Sarina says:

    That’s very interesting. Perhaps a few things an Editor might spot. It does not quite seem like Chapter 1 and 2 belong together, but it was interesting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sarina says:

    Perhaps a few beta readers or an Editor, should give you their honest feedback of the entire thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. An interesting beginning! Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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