A long jump into Hyperspace, the Fourth Dimension, the Ether, the Outer, the Inner, the Nowhere, the Everywhere.
The Past, the Future, the Internal Forever.
The first thing you remember is that you don’t remember anything. All I knew was a feeling of being in a dark nothingness, and I kept being pulled back down a road, the street where I was born to be precise, but at the time I didn’t know where it was, or where I was or even who I was. I just somehow felt a small familiarity there.
I didn’t know what had happened before this point, in-between, sideways, up, down or anywhere. I didn’t even know who I was, or why I was here. Flashes of my physical whereabouts appeared, a cube shape. Four sides. A top, a bottom. What do you call this again, this place that I am inside?
The word filtered back into my consciousness like sand sifting through my brain neurons. They call this cube a room. I kept saying, but I don’t know where I am, I don’t remember what I was doing, how can I get past this?
They were turning my head to the side to look at something sitting next to me. I had to look again to register it was a human. I saw the face and still I said, but I don’t know who he is. They danced me back to the nothingness then tried again. Turned my head again to show me a small glimpse of the room I was in from a different angle, you remember they kept saying, look again. They showed me the human again. Yes, I remember I know him, but why, and how, and why am I here with him right now? They turned my head again to look down at the pipe in my hand, see, see, look, look. Look at it all, you remember now, and then I did, I remembered it was my friend sitting next to me acting as Watcher and I’d got to this point by smoking the pipe of DMT and that was what I had planned.
In this instant I looked at my friend and green hexadecimal shapes were vibrating in front of everything. The air in the room had changed. There didn’t seem to be any air. I was in a hyper state, as was the room and everything in it. I kept pulling myself back to where I was born and saying not yet, this is too trippy but quickly they drew me back to the room again and seemed to realise I was finding the whole thing insane. Despite of myself, I giggled.
They all worked together to help me, pulled me in again, pointed my senses to the music playing on my laptop. I could see the sound waves of the music like a form of synesthesia.
Follow what you know first and it will come, you’ll see, you’ll remember, you remember. Their voices danced away from me into the wiggles and waves, bouncing in-between the shapes of the music. Yeah, but does it have to be so trippy, I said to them. Yes, because this is way. This is the only way, this is the way you‘re coming. They kept pulling me towards them, saying follow what you know. Phantom II by Justice, Boys Noize remix was playing, one of my favourite songs.
So I latched onto the vibrations of the music, the ones that were visual, this is what I had to follow, the 4D projection that was dancing higher up into the corner of the ceiling, but as I focused too much, reality got in the way, I could see the wall and the piano in the room and it was stopping me latching onto this thing that they were telling me about, I still didn’t know what I was trying to get to, I just kept following their words, I said to them wait, can you show it to me clearer, no it’s not clear enough, show me again but each time they did I still couldn’t see it. They kept beckoning me upwards, on the wave of the music. Then things started to pull and stretch and it became impossible to try and contain it all to the point I had to pass through to get to the fourth dimension. Then they said, so you know now where you’re going, you’ve realised where you’re going, the fourth dimension, so now you can come, now it will work, hypnotic voices in my head, voices that I didn’t hear as such, but felt inside my brain with an unknown sense, always vibrating out to me in the green hexadecimal shapes, I laughed and the sound of my laughter turned into the same green shapes and stepped out before me, following the beats of the music, my quivering laughter wave tumbled and frolicked with the music notes, leading me up the invisible stairs to where they were telling me to go. I decided to follow my laugh.
At this point probably 60 seconds had passed since I smoked the pipe.
I started to realise that’s where they were, in this place past reality that I now knew I could get to. I took control of the situation and told them all to help me, right you pull this part of that dimension, while I contain these parts, whilst also folding these bits… I had to focus hard and it kept slipping back but I quickly got it together again, then once it all came together and stayed, the music became louder, more fluent, pulling me towards it with the pulling vibrations.
Travel on the song if it’s what you know, they kept saying, so I did, and towards the very point of reaching the fourth dimension, something faintly alarming happened. They actually appeared slightly out of the ceiling, from their dimension into mine to physically pull me out of it, They looked like matrix beings shaped by the same green hexadecimal shapes that seemed to be vibrating in time everywhere, their voices sounded like the song that was playing, and sometimes the speed of their words skipped over time, like time did not exist for them and time was being stretched upwards, towards them. I was getting to the point I needed to, all they kept saying was it’s okay, but you remember, but you remember, but you remember. This is the way, it‘s all okay.
Then quicker than light they pulled me right out, like I was being shot out of the matrix, there was no music, no time, no room.
I was suddenly in the ether, the void, the whole place in-between and outside everything at once, the place you come from and the place you go to at the very beginning and the very end. The ones who had been helping me get there now glowed pale white and came towards me on beams of lights and they said to me immediately, so you see, you remember now, this is all it is, this is where you were coming. Now you see, now you see. And somehow I knew they were right, I’d been here before, at the beginning and end of everything. They were flying up to me, every time I asked a question in my head, but what about … but what about… before I even had a chance to finish the thought in my mind, they would show me the answer, they flicked their hand and turned my face to look into what for a nano second seemed like a small ball of swirling matter. When I glanced, I saw for a fleeting moment the answer to any question I had started to ask, and every time they would say, but you knew that already, but you remember, but you know that, see, see, see, sometimes they would dance, back on the green hexadecimal vibrations to show me it was happy and safe.
I became ever so slightly aware of the room I’d left behind, I was behind a secret wall. A secret wall behind the universe’s edge. So you see, the way you came in, this is what this is about, this is what people see when they come here and this is all it is. No fear ever crossed my mind, just wonder, just curiosity, just kept saying but yeah what about this though, what about that, what about the space time continuum, and they would show me in a second, but you just crush the time and stretch the space and add the senses and look, look, look, they sang and danced again as I started to understand each little bit more.
You remember…the Galactic Brain.
They gave it to me in bits at my pace, they knew how much to give, how much to show, they knew that I was getting there, always kept answering my questions with the fleeting swirling ball that they would flick in front of you and always they would sing after it, but you already knew that, you knew that, now do you remember, so now do you remember? It was like a song, like everything was happening at the right time, at the right pace, at the right rate, I got it all, and they said so you have no more questions to ask, because you see it all, now you remember, you understand again. But I still had a question – why don’t we all get to see this all the time? Because… they said, and showed me how when the space and time is crushed into our reality, this thought can’t happen there, they showed me how everything has to be at a point for our reality to exist, and that it is really our Self in the ether, the one that dreams, our consciousness that creates it all, this is what creates your reality, this is you, your own creator, you are here, always, you always have been and always will be, this is how it is all safe and good, this is how you do it, they showed me how and it was like my reality that I’d left behind was a picture being projected from me, myself, in this dimension. I said to myself, just like a hologram, and they danced again,yes, yes, but you knew that already. Yes, because I had read it in New Scientist about three months ago and even when I’d read it I knew that although I didn’t completely understand it…it was somehow still right. I was asking them things like, why do I write creative stories from my head and woosh they would show me a fleeting glimpse and I would go, oh yeah, each time cos I already knew.
Then I asked them about personal questions about people, about love, about hurt, about them and me, what did it mean, but they crushed it quickly, no, you remember, that doesn’t work here, those thoughts can’t manifest here, it’s fear based emotions and they don’t work here, that’s not what this is for, they exist in the hologram but they can’t be thought here. And as soon as they said it I remembered again that they were right. It wasn’t void of emotions in a bad way, only that they were a different thing that belonged in the hologram, the old reality, that is where the strong emotions I was trying to project have to stay. They simply don’t work in the fourth dimension. That is why, they pointed to the whole world, from beginning to end in one swift movement I saw it all evolve along with the power of emotion as a projection from our inner beings. That is why, they said, the why for everything, it all links in to the whys of the world, why war, why money, why pain, why love – emotion.
Dream, how I dream to feel.
Feeling is created there but not here in the fourth dimension, that is the result if you like for that particular squashing of the time and space and the senses, and that’s the why for all your emotion questions, think about them when you go back, they told me, you can’t take them into this dimension to think about, it just doesn’t work, just like you can’t take things out of this one, they just can’t be thought of in your old reality. It’s all your creation, it’s all your choice, it’s all your projection, it’s where you take yourself… But remember… you knew that already…
I was laughing because of the amount of times they had said this to me, and still it was just beginning to sink in. I said to them, what ever I ask you here, you’re going to show me but as soon as you do, I will realise that I knew it anyway, I had just forgotten, so there is no point in me asking any more. (But I still asked what the other dimensions looked like, just out of interest of course.)
They quickly showed me, look, it’s just this and this and this, they pulled the space out, they crushed the time in then made it linear, they pulled the senses apart and together, the senses that were created when the space-time were at the right point, they showed me the projection and where that would go, reality, life as we see it out of this fourth dimension, and this is all it is, look, they showed me the other dimensions, tiny dimensions, ones that were so miniscule we zoomed and zoomed and zoomed in and in and in on them until they became clear…they were unimaginably intricate and we zoomed in so far we could have been viewing quanta at work. We passed down through many layers of reality. Our zoom ended in a grid like structure, where tiny DMT insectoid messengers streamed across the grid, they moved with purpose, like enlightened mechanical ants.
The DMT beings showed me that it was nothing difficult to understand, that it was all just layers and different ways of doing them, and this is the layer you are doing just now, my reality was just this part of the everything that always happened, that after it, here I would come again, they quickly showed me beams of light that I felt I could choose to go to. They had different paths and choices and places down them but right now I was not going near them, this was for after, this is where you will come to choose where to go next, when your current reality ends, when your hologram world stops. But why don’t we get to know this, think how beautiful it would be for everyone, But no, they quickly showed me, but you know why, look, and I saw the reasons why it couldn’t be, it just wouldn’t work, the dimensions have to be this way, the hologram has to work that way, this is the way it was and always has and continues to be. And some people’s reality have become too real, it’s too dangerous for them to know.
Willing suspension of disbelief.
Now you remember, they kept saying again, and finally I said yes, now I know, now I remember everything, and they danced again, and we both knew it was near the end. So you see, you’ve done it, they reassured me as they prepared me to go back into my old reality, they turned me towards a tiny window, a portal inside which all the space-time was focused, the tiny window of my old reality that they were now guiding me back to. This is all it was about, that’s it now, you’ve done it, you’ve saw it, you’ve came and this is the only reason you came here, to find out, to be shown, in your own way, what this all means. They started to dance me back to my reality and I saw small flickers of the living room, and I knew they were letting me go back to it because it was time, this was over because I had achieved what I came to do.
But I held onto it. I said but wait what did you tell me at the very beginning, and what was the space time continuum again, and how exactly did this work again, it was like as I was falling back in to old reality I was letting slip this fourth dimension. But you know, they kept saying, more softly now, it’s all okay, but you know you can’t carry all the knowledge back, it doesn’t work remember, some things can only be understood in this fourth dimension, some things will slip out your memory because you know it can’t exist in the dimension that you’re going back to, the hologram, the thought, the creation of your being, the creation of your mind, being, soul, your everything. They kept putting me back in gently even though I wanted to remember as much as I could, they gently took the small things back that couldn’t exist in the old reality but left me with the knowledge I had understood them and always will but cannot describe them fully back in my old reality, not even in my mind, especially if I think too hard about it. But if I let it go and flow back to the fourth dimension, I feel that small glimpse again, I don’t see the answer but I feel it, in my whole being and the answer is – you already know the answer.
When I started to feel the reality of the room more and started to leave the fourth dimension altogether I felt sick and told them oh yuck I don’t like this part, you never said this would happen, I mean you told me the answers to the universe but you never told me about this part! But they just made me look at the empty bottle of Buckfast then made me feel the sickness again and made me see it was because I drank the tonic wine, well what did you expect, they seemed to be telling me. I still didn’t like it so they showed me quickly all that it was, look it’s just your physical self trying to reattach to your thought projection, your senses trying to find their way back together, I mean come on your squashing space and time back together here and it’s going to feel a little weird. Of course I knew exactly what they were talking about (because I was now all knowing in that area) so once I understood it, the sicky effect started to fade. They told me to follow what I knew again and danced me back in on the music which was now on My Moon, My Man, by Feist another Boys Noize remix.
I had a play list playing so I now know that only about 22 minutes had passed but at that moment, time was still skewed so I couldn‘t really tell. They showed me how to latch onto the music again, the same way I had done when I was coming in. And so I listened to the music and lay for a long time half in the fourth dimension and half in the reality, aware that they were still taking care of me. I was still able to hold the time, and make the song stop while thinking in my head for long minutes before the next beat of the song came in again.
You have to let time fall back to where it should be, they said. But I like being able to do this, I told them, even though I knew I couldn’t possibly exist properly in this reality if I was constantly bending time. Look, they said and suddenly I could hear my friend breathing, I hadn‘t even been aware that he was still there, he is worried about you, stop getting lost in the space time continuum, stop playing about with it, you know it’s time to go back. I knew that most people who take DMT last no more than 20 minutes but I had now been out of it for nearly an hour so understandably my friend was worrying, but I was fully able to come back into the room, I just didn’t want to stop playing with the space-time continuum just yet. I was in my element, being able to stop time and send my mind back to their dimension to daydream for as long as I wanted about everything they‘d just showed me, then pull my mind back into the room and start up time again. But once they’d made me realise my friend would worry if I lay there all night bending time, I agreed with them it was time to come back.
Gently they kept pushing me further back into the old reality, until it got to a point where I was aware of being more in the old reality than I was in their fourth dimension and that’s when they finally let go, once they knew I was safely back in the room, along with a slight tinge of sadness at leaving them behind. I heard my friend speak and the sound of a voice made the reality stronger so I just focused on the textures, smells, sounds, and sights bit by bit until I could put them all back together again, it took longer than I had been told it would take, but probably because I had clouded my head slightly with alcohol. I laughed about the fact they had kept telling me you remember, you remember it all, see you already knew that, as if you were going to be told something you didn’t already know, it was the ultimate non mystery but in the same sense the ultimate mystery. It was everything and nothing, it was knowing and not knowing, remembering and forgetting, forgetting and remembering. Everything, here it is, here it always is, and always will be, here is life, this part of it anyway.
That’s what they were there for, like some sort of guardians of the gateway, they were glowing beings like people but who flew at you on beams of light, with glowing crowns on their heads. They showed me everything, they were the ones who had guided me in and gently guided me back out, they were only there to do this, they knew I was coming in, they knew when I would be going out, they knew how to help me, they knew what to say to me, they knew exactly who I was, had been, and would yet be. After about an hour of nonsense ramblings to my friend I tried to make sense of it all again, in the squashed time-space dimension and knew it was hard, basically impossible but still, I remembered what they’d said about only being able to know some things in that fourth dimension, accepting that again, remembering everything again, learning it all again, laughing and laughing because I had already known it all, just like they had told me, you remember you have done all this before, you’ve came in before, you’ve gone out, your being will never forget, as soon as you see it all again, you remember, now go back, take it with you, hold it close, because not many know, not many can see, because that’s just the way it is. But you knew that already…